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True and false self is determined by how far a young child is allowed to be themselves by their caregiver e.g. if a child is told something along the lines of ‘boys don’t cry’, this will effect the way the young boy grows up, and his relationship with showing emotion through crying.
These children grow into adults, and adults present in the therapy room – allow them to show their true selves.
Clients may show this through being childish, aggressive, or by challenging you – this is the client showing parts of themselves they couldn’t express as a child.
The counsellor will need to be strong and robust to manage this - undergo your own therapy.
It’s about you being the good enough other.